What is frustrated pleasure and how does technology affect us?

“What’s left of sex after the sexual revolution?” How does the use of new technologies and social networks affect people’s intimate lives?” asks the editorial. To this there is a paradoxical answer: “On the one hand, the End of the USA taboos, the assertion of the right to sexual life, the explicit prohibition and institutional violations created a poverty of desire and sexuality, both inside and outside the community. . friend On the other hand, people (not only young people) seem to be more attracted to cybersex, be it online pornography or virtual dating chats, which may be a reality in reality, but rarely lead to cybersex. A truly satisfying relationship. These behaviors create conditions or threats to the life of the couple and their sexuality”.

As the experts explain, after examining the aspects that characterize these phenomena, they present “a series of typical cases of failed sexual life, in which a short strategic therapy has deregulated physical or mental mechanisms that lead to anxiety, inadequacy and even fear that they stifle joy and prevent its full expression. In this way, she gave back to those who needed her, not only the protection they had, was lost or never found, but also the fullness that happy sexuality can give to any couple.

Interestingly, in terms of young people’s dependence on new technologies and their impact, “twenties are no better, with almost four times the risk of victimization than their peers in the past, contrary to the collective imagination.” admits”. That’s according to University of San Diego professor Jean M. Twenge, quoted by the authors of this essay.

what changed Why did people love each other differently 40 years ago? These questions lead the authors to determine that often the price of a screen connection is less than a “romantic commitment.” In fact, they confirm that in the world “the average number of sexual relations among couples aged 25 to 45 is insignificant: in a month and a half, and twice a year in a couple out of ten is depressing.” The paradox is that “the percentage of erotic interactions increases with age”.

Experts point out that people over 55 have more sex than people under 30. The answer lies in the fact that “people over 50 are clumsy or don’t know how to cope” new technologies and porn online”, although other experts say this is due to the insecurities of young people who probably grew up in a more sheltered and less socialized environment.

Through the many consultations presented by the authors from real patients, there is a common point: when couple sex is reduced, so is monogamous sex, or increased singleness with the help of technology. One of the clinical cases cited is that of Mario, who had an online avatar with which he surprisingly won doubles; In real life, however, he could hardly articulate complete sentences in front of a girl. This other virtual self captures Mario and makes him safe in a digital space, while ruining his ability to interact with a person face-to-face. During a consultation, he treated her condition by teaching her to “face fear to turn it into courage.”

It should be noted that one of the authors, Giorgio Nardone, has other publications, including the art of cunningHeader, 2017; I think that’s why I suffer. when thinking too much hurts, Paos, 2012; You The mistakes of women (in love)Purdy, 2011.

Anand today, in 5 figures

1- Limitations of sex in the new century:

Today, the boundaries between reality and virtuality are blurring. The Internet is a factor that can no longer be ignored, which is present in all areas of our lives and which is beginning to affect intimate and sexual relationships.

2- Frustrated search for fulfilling relationships:

One of the great paradoxes of the affluent society is the apparent abundance of social and sexual stimuli and ways of establishing relationships, but with rapidly increasing dissatisfaction.

3- New elements in sexual dynamics:

The technical environment enters social, emotional and sexual relations as another element, with equal or greater importance than the others. Cybersex, dating apps, porn, online experiences… Still, it’s worth asking whether these new dynamics can help initiate and strengthen interpersonal relationships, or contribute to frustration?

4- Sociability replaces sensuality:

Couples seem to have a tendency to prefer satisfying their spouse’s emotional needs over sexual needs. Lovers become friends and it can be difficult to reconnect with physical desire.

5- Simple solutions to complex problems:

This book brings together empirical research on the psychological discomfort that can result from the hopeless pursuit of pleasure, and offers simple therapeutic solutions for successfully achieving sexual well-being.

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